Flight of the Falcon—Big Wolf on Campus (Transcript)

Now it’s upside down it was shocking.

 

Will Riley 

The following plot synopsis of the television program Big Wolf on Campus, a sitcom inspired by Teen Wolf produced between 1999 and 2002 by telecine cynic group and Sivan entertainment in the interest of transparency, these Synopsys are sourced from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, one one on an annual campout with some friends the weekend before his senior year, Tommy Dawkins is attacked by a wolf. Little does he know that the wolf that attacked him is in reality a werewolf and that night is going to change his life forever. One five, a college sorority has their eyes set on Stacy and Tommy until they are convinced that Stacy is in fact a witch Merton is convinced that they are sorority cyborgs 1/6 the actions of Hugo and Merton inadvertently released the Pleasantville strangler, a long dead serial killer whose spirit is able to bodied Ha, and he’s gunning for Tommy, one. 825 years ago, a hippie teacher fell into a toxic swamp and mutated into a monster. Now he’s back searching for his old fiance, 112 Mertens old nemesis Aleister black comes to Pleasantville, not only taking over Mertens role as president of the Gothic fantasy guild, but also casting a spell on Merton rendering him invisible. Meanwhile, Tommy has to deal with a psychiatrist 115 Tommy decides to donate blood, but he and Merton must retrieve it from the blood bank after learning that his werewolf curse can be transferred via blood. But the problem becomes more complicated when they must deal with a group of vampires who raid blood banks. 116 A Chronomancer gives Merton a watch that can reverse time, Merton is thrilled to have the chance to reverse his mistakes. But it turns out that each use of the watch drains some of his intelligence Tommy has to find a way to save Merton before he becomes a complete moron. To one Tommy Merton and their new companion Laurie find themselves battling against the ghost of a football player who is behind the football team 61 year old curse to to while participating in a quiz bowl Merton is interviewed by a strange man who wants to take Mertens brain and use it inside his creation. To three when Tommy and Merton enter a wormhole that lets them travel through time. A Russian man enters and changes the outcome of the Cold War, which leads to the collapse of the United States and worldwide enforcement of communism. Meanwhile, Tommy must decide whether or not to warn his past self of the werewolf attack that will change his life to four. At the same time that Laurie discovers Tommy’s true identity. A group of werewolves called the evil werewolves syndicate decides to force Tommy to join the two five, a traveling pro wrestler named Dr. apocalypse comes to town. He has racked up 665 wins, but the 666 could cause the end of the world to save the universe Tommy Merton and Laurie have to prevent Dr. Apocalypse is next victory to 11 Corey Haim as he himself comes to town to shoot a made for video vampire film, but the Pleasantville trio comes to believe Corey himself is a real vampire to 13 part one of two Tommy is brainwashed by a pizza of made by the returned evil werewolf syndicates. And our mind controlled werewolf soon bites Laurie, to 15. A cyborg disguised as the new school guidance counselor begins to implant mind controlling devices into the brains of the Pleasantville High students to 16. Laurie tricks Merton into reviving her dead boyfriend Rob, at the same time Tommy copes with Laurie breaking up with him to 18 to impress a girl at school, Merton gets a job as a test subject at a laboratory, which has some literally ugly consequences when Merton is turned into a caveman through sensory deprivation and some strange chemical injections to 22. The Grim Reaper returns to capture Tommy, but in a last attempt to save him, Tommy Merton in law I go over all the good things the group has done over the past two seasons. Three one, Tommy and Lorie must save Merton, who has transformed into a stone Golem. However, the spell to revert Merton to normal has made him weak and blind. Three five, Tommy loses the class president election to a girl named Hillary. Hillary has made a deal with a demon in order to win three eight, Tommy Merton and Laurie must help Santa Claus defeat an evil impersonator out to ruin Christmas. Three nine. Becky is kidnapped by aliens posing as a bubblegum pop boy band 311. Merton falls in love with a 900 year old Japanese princess who has been cursed by a jealous samurai. Meanwhile, Tommy is ordered to do community service at the hungry bucket 312 Tommy’s wish to be normal is finally granted when he ends up in a parallel timeline where he hurt his knee and never became a werewolf. Because of this shock, Tommy’s rival, replaces him and becomes an evil werewolf. Tommy must defeat him without his powers. But this won’t be easy as Merton and Laurie do not recognize it. 313 Merton is impregnated by an alien 316 The princess of light camp via a tropical island kingdom of werewolves falls in love with Tommy 319 Corey Feldman, who was a good friend of Corey Haim, who Tommy destroyed in the second season visits Pleasantville 321. And other clips show episode

Danger Danger Danger, danger, danger, danger, danger, danger, danger, danger Danger Danger, danger, danger, danger hasn’t been loaded yet.

 

Will Riley 

Hello all if it danger returned to the shores of your ISP, it’s will again just before we start the episode off, I’d like to give a few apologies. Last episode, I made some remarks about marine land which some people might find disparaging. I’d like to make some apologies for that. As of the peace treaty signing in 2012 All official hostilities between the Vancouver Aquarium and marine land have ceased and bringing up bad blood again between the two is not the most politic way to do things. But I mean, you know, a lot of people died in that war. And sometimes if I speak out of turn, or I get my dander up, I might speak immodestly in ways that I don’t really mean so all apologies to folks in Ontario, the whole empty field cookbooks thing I will let that in the past we we won’t talk about that we won’t talk about the treatment of the animals that’s that’s all in the past. We won’t talk about the way that marine land stole all that land and made that lady kill herself. It’s it’s all done. The war is over. I won’t talk about it. seventh episode of danger Bay titled flight of the Falcon production code one dash 009 As the title suggests, for this episode, fly to the Falcon. Well we’ve done poaching by sea and we’ve done poaching by land and so obviously the last poachers available to us are, you know, by air we’re dealing with poached eggs here and not the eggs benedict type. It’s kind of funny that it only took a scant seven episodes for the danger Bay crew to already go through all the basic biomes we had the the fish poaching, obviously and then we had stealing the horses and now we’re already all the way into the flighted kingdom of the air of the birds. By all accounts Paul Saltzman sort of realized, Oh, I I overextended. There’s all these stories about him looking at the series roadmap and He is just kicking himself going, Oh man, I really can’t get to the space poachers until like season seven. This episode of danger Bay is directed by Michael Berry, who is a man that we’re going to hear about a lot. He is going to direct a very healthy number of episodes eight in total, I believe. And he also did direct one half of the pilot. But because the pilot is one episode recut with a new framing device, I don’t really know which part he directed. I have a few different snippets of Michael berries career that I can talk about. But right now I’m going to split it up just so we have some time. But I want to focus right now on his final ever production, which was in Canada called 15. And in the United States called hillside 15 Is Michael Berry’s most prolific contribution as a director. It’s the biggest project that he ever did. It was basically his show. But nowadays, it’s usually seen as a target of either mockery, or sort of ironic approval, disliked by most of the people who actually made the thing in the first place even as some sort of a soap opera hillside is trying to be a serious teen show talking about serious teen issues, lots of plot lines about characters, parents divorcing people getting peer pressured into doing drugs, you know, serious bullying and emotional abuse stuff. This is what the theme song sounds like.

 

Will Riley 

I don’t know if I really need to tell you that. This is not the most appropriate theme song for what this show is. IMDB says that Michael berry directed about 15 episodes of this show. But this number both inflates the amount of work involved and deflates the hand Michael Berry had in making the 65 episode, teen soap on this show was constructed with the explicit intent to mimic the soap opera production pipeline. So the pilot of this show itself is actually 12 episodes long, basically to show look how many of these things that we can pump out at once Berry was the lead director of this show. And it literally ended his career. It took him 15 years of directing other TV shows and being like the sub director and directing individual episodes. And then he finally got his own show where he had the absolute lead as a director, and it basically crater here. The first difficult thing about making a soap opera for children is you have to be somebody who is sort of in tune with kids. And for a show that’s going to be made for kids in 1991. There is no bigger generation gap going on right now. It’s a very common example of this era, in particular, where people born in 1939 are trying to write for children in 1991. Like, if your dad taught you how to read from a newspaper with the headline, Hitler commit suicide on it, you’re not breaking through to the Bill and Ted generation, because it is both the children’s show and it is a soap opera, that means that you’ve got a double low budget going on. And that means that production on the show has that thing where the set design is so cheap, and the sound mixes done so fast that you’ve got a confluence of two issues where you can hear the set creaking, and you can hear the hollow thud of people’s footsteps as they walk around every second of this show. Maybe you’re right.

 

 

Maybe it won’t happen at all.

 

Will Riley 

I’m not the first person to riff on the weirdness of this show. And the idea of its very existence. There’s even someone in 2011, who was making a whole blog about this show doing a watch along making fun of the ways that was outdated. And you know, not to be rude. But making a watch along series on some Canadian show that’s totally forgotten, like 15. I mean, I’m sure you enjoy doing it. But I mean with respect. I don’t really see any staying power in the idea. I mean, your audience has a ceiling you really need to think about a better way to spend your time. If you’re looking for mainstream success on media commentary such as it is. You need to work around a big mainstream tentpole show like danger Bay. The big sin of 15 such as it is, is that it was a real feel pain to work for Evidently, the churn of soap opera production is pretty famous. There are so many scripts that you have to memorize and so many episodes that you have to film all at once. Now imagine having a cast that’s almost entirely child actors do. Lots of people came back from that show really disparaging it and talking about how horrible a time they had the biggest one being a young kid by the name of Ryan Reynolds, who went on to say, oh, yeah, when I finished that show at 15 years old, I was thinking about getting out of acting entirely.

 

 

That new board

 

 

for me, well, I’ve been practicing that new turn. The one you’re telling me about on Thursday?

 

 

Yeah.

 

 

How’s it going?

 

 

Oh, not so bad. Actually, so good. That kind of lousy so far.

 

Will Riley 

I mean, can you imagine that having a TV production so bad that you almost lose Ryan Reynolds, the man who invented Deadpool, I’m imagining this alternate timeline where aviation gin has never touched anybody’s lips, and I’m terrified just thinking about it. Or perhaps Ryan Reynolds was always destined to be enacting superstar, the pride of a city if you will, according to a random clickbait headline I saw on IMDb. His second choice job was to be a fireman. And he couldn’t do it because of Dei, quote, I didn’t stand a chance. Ryan Reynolds became an actor because the fire department had a women and visible minorities mandate. I’m sure that’s a very real thing that actually happened. Personally, I only get my news from articles that have headlines that are also sponsored ads, because it’s so true that somebody is paying extra money to make sure you’re informed of it. We’ll

 

 

see my Bruce.

 

 

I’ll take your word for it.

 

 

It was all purple last night. Today, it’s starting to turn a whole bunch of colors. No

 

 

pain, no gain, right.

 

Will Riley 

The writer of this episode is named Rick Drew, and he’s been in a bunch of stuff he’s written for things like check it out, which is a sitcom about a supermarket road episodes of air wolf air wolf has been showing up more than I expected. Adventures of Black Stallion. He wrote a bunch of episodes for Shirley Holmes, which if you don’t know is a TV show about the crime solving Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is Canadian Grand Nice. Mainly, I’d like to take my time to talk about a TV show called Xyx. Level one through three. We are the great hog occupying forces are growing and soon all the galaxy when a game trembled before us, which was basically an attempt to recapture the success of reboot. To the extent that they actually hired what was left of mainframe entertainment to do it, like literally the same premise of fighting for existence in a video game world, except they bought into the concept to the extent the producers wanted to animate the entire thing inside an actual video game engine with expectable results. You have all this animation software at your fingertips, but you’re gonna go now I’m gonna do Unreal Engine to as a reboot connoisseur. This show really did show me something about reboot. Something that might come off as more corny about reboot, which was the original far more successful show is that everything was named after some computer pawn characters named mouse and dot matrix. You know. Xyx shows that once you take away the pawns and still have to come up with names for people living inside a computer, and you start coming up with shit like XIX, funky Z and Flamengo, maybe you should stick to the pawns. So that’s the top of the ticket dealt with. I’m going to talk about some of the guest stars now which actually do deserve some attention. These are people with long history some of them are almost as a gust as Don Rhodes. The first name is Winston record who is somebody that you don’t know you’ve already heard about because he is the lead role in the show called neon rider. So then precious remember a few episodes back I was talking about a show that was about a therapy ranch for troubled teens. Winston record plays the main guy in that show. Hi, Michael.

 

 

Terry, do you have any bags? Your watch? You’re on ranch

 

Will Riley 

time. And I suppose it’s apology season. Nyan writer is a better show than I gave it credit for. I’ve since watched some episodes and it is actually pretty well put together. It’s a teen show but it is like skewing to an older audience and it is doing stuff that For 90s television is actually kind of daring.

 

 

So what are you hooker? You cranked up last night, didn’t you? And that’s a real Yep, name if I ever heard one, if you want to get abusive punch this, why punch that when you can punch the real thing,

 

Will Riley 

it’s a lot more of an episodic drama, which means that despite there being a rotating cast of people coming in and out of this therapy Ranch, the fact that the episodes are actually an hour long, which is very rare for this sort of niche of this show. All of these things actually get to breathe a lot more than you’d expect. And all of these actors are given a lot more to work with than you’d expect most of all being Winston record.

 

 

It’s tension. No,

 

 

he needs appreciation,

 

 

picking fights with the other kids, it doesn’t make him feel that appreciate it.

 

 

He sees all the other kids is the enemy.

 

 

And he’s paranoid. Know,

 

 

he’s lonely, have

 

 

a picking fights with the other kids, it’s just gonna isolate him even more.

 

 

I know.

 

 

It doesn’t make any sense. Well, gee, maybe

 

 

that’s why he’s here.

 

Will Riley 

In this show, as somebody who has to deal with troubled teens for a calling, all while in a show that has a sort of mandatory chase scene or fight or explosion every episode.

 

Will Riley 

He does a very well balanced character, he simultaneously has to be this fatherly figure.

 

 

We’re all here for all of us.

 

 

This isn’t even known that you

 

Will Riley 

go introduce yourself, while also being able to tell off you know, the real no good Nick’s in the camp and also having to be two fisted enough to get into fights with people who are putting these kids at risk. You know,

 

 

I wasn’t gonna let him get hurt.

 

 

What kind of place do you think you’re running here?

 

Will Riley 

I mean, you can easily imagine Okay, here’s an episode, there’s a kid who’s got a drug problem time for Winston record to kick down a door and start getting into a fistfight with a dealer or something along those lines. If you want to get abusive punch this lots of horse chases, lots of scenes where people almost fall down waterfalls, the worse and Winston record is the guy who is holding it all together.

 

 

Show them precious.

 

Will Riley 

Even before all of that Winston record really does have a long, long career. In fact, I’m very convinced that he has this role in this episode specifically because he was probably second or third choice to play the grant Roberts character and so they are giving him this episode is like, I don’t know a consolation prize. Winston record starts off his acting career as a teenager working for a working for a TV movie about local teen hockey teams titled prairie landscapes. Now I’m pretty sure that record is managing his own IMDB page. And I mean, why wouldn’t you It’s basically your own resume, but I’m saying this because record is the only soul credited actor in this movie prairie landscapes. Let me just quote the trivia section to you quote, a local Saskatoon TV news cameraman shot a great deal of the film out of focus. The raw stock was being processed at path A labs in Montreal, Quebec, and the entire shoot was over before the problem was discovered. Since the film was produced on a small government grant in and around Saskatoon, Saskatchewan comprising of a cast mainly from Toronto, it was not possible to bring the principles back for retakes, and the film remains unfinished. So on the strength of that Winston record, went and did a 40 year career. That’s literally all the information we have on this movie prairie landscapes, other than it was apparently about hockey. And for those people who are interested in me talking about Don Davis last episode, I think you’d be interested to know that the script of the film was written by a local columnist by the name of Dale Cooper

 

Will Riley 

Winston record is another type of guy in acting who just is never out of work. Like there’s no point in history where he doesn’t have some kind of credit somewhere a bit of a quick rapid fire here he was in a Time Life movie which is not to be confused with a Lifetime movie with the simple title of who will say As our children, and it also has a great tagline, a family torn apart by love. I don’t know anything about this movie but that title and that tagline basically comes out and leaps at you and tells you this is the kind of movie that I am. He was in an episode of The Great Detective which is the Victorian crime solving TV show that’s not Murdoch Mysteries, a weird one. He was in a TV show called The behind the camera, the unauthorized story of Different Strokes where he played Mr. Las Vegas way new, a role whose existence actually make sense for reasons too complex and tragic to get into here. He had episodes of Stargate SG one of course not to mention Andromeda and Battlestar Galactica, this is Vancouver, a TV movie called cabin pressure, which I only mentioned because it was re advertise in home video as hijacked with a little apostrophe between the K and the D we got rid of the E this was this was the punk to era we were all doing that. Now you wouldn’t know it. But Winston record is no spring chicken as far as million dollar franchises are concerned. It’s not just danger bet. He was in fact in Star Wars. Specifically, he was in the 80s Star Wars animated series droids he’s got

 

Will Riley 

he voiced a character named Mungo bail, Bob. As

 

 

long as you’re out here, why don’t we try and get along? Like a symbiotic relationship?

 

Will Riley 

There’s a minor role for an actress named Mary stripling here and she’ll go on to do some stuff. She’ll be on Nyan writer she’ll be on Stargate and X Files as well. The main thing I’m the main reason I’m bringing her up at all is that she was in a TV movie called Night screen. A show which I will never see because it would ruin the perfect idea in my head of what a TV show called Night scream. One word would be like I don’t even know if night scream is a thing or a guy. It’s just night scream is such a good name for something. William cat is night screen. Robert Culp is night screen. You will like him when he’s scared. An actress that deserves being mentioned here is Moira Walley, who actually is going to end her acting career in 2002 and years down the role is going to move on to becoming Moira Walley Beckett and if you recognize that name, that is the name of the writer and executive producer of Breaking Bad. So yeah, Moira Walley Beckett is doing pretty well for yourself in 2024. There is still a weird sort of contradiction in tones that is going on here. By being both a big success in the US and still wanting to work in Canada right after being an executive producer on Breaking Bad. She moves on to being an executive producer on the CBC show. And with an E, which is just such a strange change to me. I’m just imagining her sitting in her arm chair one day, final season of this immensely successful Breaking Bad, it’s done and she goes okay, that’s out of the way I can finally work on the thing that the world really needs a 30th adaptation of an of Green Gables. Now, to be fair to Moira Walley Beckett, lots of people walk into the CBC offices with an idea for their own TV show, and then somehow walk out with another and of Green Gables adaptation in their hands. Like you’re talking to the CBC and you go I want to do a crime drama that takes place in Vancouver’s Chinatown in the 1920s. And the CBC exec goes, Okay, that’s interesting. Now, there are a few changes we’re going to have to make here. For one thing, we do need some more female protagonists. Okay. I’m okay with the female protagonist for the Chinatown show. Well, and the other thing you say is that, you know, Vancouver is a tough and expensive place to film for us right now. We need to represent some other parts of the Canada How about you go go out east do you think about like How about Prince Edward Island? Does that sound good? And you start going well hold on are you trying to get me to go and do another and of Green Gables show and before you say it you realize you’re already wearing the wig. You’ve got two bottles of raspberry cordial in your hands. You open up the door and you’re already looking at a bunch of red sand and you go oh fuck, how’d this happen again, I’m already feeling the girlish imaginative whimsy Goddamnit I did not want this to happen again.

 

Will Riley 

So the cold opening of this episode has Paul Saltzman just sort of reach into his B roll archive from his documentary gaze and we have footage of Falcons roosting in their nest on the side of a cliff face cut to an ominous looking ropes slowly dropping down from the clip face above it. And somebody in a red tooth or you know, a red beanie starts rappelling down the side of the cliff. This is a hawk poacher and she immediately grabs into the nest and starts slowly placing them in a side bag, which seems rather insecure for the task at hand. I don’t know exactly how much cushioning you can put in a fanny pack. Well, you never seen the egg fanny pack. You got your your culinary knowledge is just way down there, buddy. There’s a good shot of this poacher coming down this cliff face, but it’s only there for about two seconds. So we only get the scale of this thing for like point five of a second. The reason for this is we need a bunch of close and tight angles on the poachers hands and feet so we don’t actually see their face. The other reason is that one of the Hawks realizes what’s going on. And so we have an extended sequence where the Hawk is attacking this poacher, there’s a bunch of jostling around, and the poachers waving their hands while really at the bird and we we keep cutting to the bird just, you know, attacking and flying towards the camera, and we actually see like a little repel Caribbean or come off of the poachers body and sort of fall down the hill. The trick here though, is that we don’t actually see the hawk or the poacher in the same shot ever. There’s a bunch of shots of the poacher waving their hands around and screaming and getting all freaked out. And then we keep cutting to documentary footage of this Hawk attacking probably some rats that a trainer is holding off screen this continuous back and forth between an actor and stock archival footage is what I like to call the Italian Spider Man School of Film Editing.

 

Will Riley 

On the other side of the theme, so on we see that things are going well at the Vancouver Aquarium. They’re engaged in the time honored Canadian tradition of child labor as n unaccountably small box of Atlantic fish rolls off down a line into Jonah and Nicole’s mitts. They pick it up and they haul it into the aquarium freezer.

 

 

How’s it going in there? Find out

 

 

we’re almost through

 

 

reasonable wages eager I think I’ve found myself some excellent part time help.

 

 

I can’t get over what’s going into those two one day I can’t get him to clean up the room

 

 

the next day. I’ve got two Junior capitalists on my hands

 

Will Riley 

you would think with giant sea mammals you’d be importing your Atlantic fish in bulk but it looks like they’re buying it in boxes equivalent to maybe a single shifts worth of cod for a mid level fast casual seafood restaurant we learned that Jonah and Nicole are looking for some way to make some extra money they won’t tell grant what the money is actually supposed to get them though. Hey, my

 

 

birthday is not for six months yet. So I

 

 

Dad This is a present for herself. Well, it’s kind of for him though, right

 

 

when you’re gonna let me in in the state soon.

 

Will Riley 

This is where the chronology gets messy of course, because if you remember, there was already an episode where Jonah was working for the aquarium. The whole Guppy project. Remember that? The thing where he almost solved hunger in the third world if it weren’t for women grant is inspecting how his kids are doing throughout this whole scene. The one weird thing here is that Donnelly Rhodes has opted to not spit out the gum that he was chewing before the cameras started rolling like he’s just walking around and not even hiding the fact that he’s chewing through all of his dialogue. This is a recurring thing throughout roads his career. Of course, you’re no doubt familiar with those anecdotes about his appearance on Mannix in the 60s, you know, all his conversations had to be shot reverse shot done in separate rooms because he just wouldn’t quit blowing bubbles in my Connors face whenever he was talking. It’s more of like a strategy. It’s kind of like a power move you understand as a coda to the scene, Grant just drops off the little info nugget,

 

 

I’ll pick you up later. I’m gonna go over and see duck field. Okay, and

 

Will Riley 

Doug field is the guy that Winston record plays in this episode, you’ll notice something that has been showing up in danger Bay pretty frequently is that there are very few scenes where anybody meets anybody. For the sake of convenience grant just knows everybody to begin with. All information has to flow through the office of the Vancouver Aquarium curator, whether its aquatic information or not. Grant drives his Jeep off to records house. And we can see that his digs are almost as lavish as grant Roberts, he’s living somewhere in West van, maybe even somewhere near Horseshoe Bay or on the road to Whistler. He’s not living on his own island by any stretch, but it’s like the building is one of those things where they’ve basically carved the cliff face to fit the house into it. So it’s sort of suspended up in the air by a lot of struts and pillars. It’s it’s a good example of Pacific Northwest modernism, lots of wide open windows to give you views of the trees and a lot of expose woods. It’s it looks sort of like the house at the end of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the one that the car crashes through the window at the end record has left the door to his multimillion house. Totally unlocked. So grant just walks in and arrives on announced and they see each other and immediately descend into guy talk. Ready?

 

 

How much? Are you repressing their

 

 

230 pounds? Bad for a guy my age?

 

 

Is that why you called me three times this morning to tell me you’re out lifting me by 50 pounds.

 

 

I thought I’d be a little bit more than 50 pounds,

 

Will Riley 

establishing to each other that they are manly lifting men, but not in a gay way though. After confidently establishing that he is the weight alpha of the two of them. Winston record turns away from the lifting bench sliding himself into his wheelchair.

 

Will Riley 

Winston record is not actually paraplegic in real life. But I think the writing team realized oh shoot, we painted ourselves into a corner we established that there’s somebody who can lift more than grant Roberts, we got to find some way to de scale him a bit.

 

 

I called you because I want you to take a look at something. Grant is then escorted

 

Will Riley 

to the plot and exposition balcony. He reports that peregrine falcons are probably being poached due to a decrease in a local population. Winston record gives this quick rundown as to as to all of these hawks that are being harassed by some plane that he doesn’t know who it belongs to. And he’s worried about poachers.

 

 

I haven’t cited a single Falcon in four days.

 

 

I think somebody’s trapping the birds illegally,

 

 

I’d stake my reputation on it. The other day I saw an ultra light buzzing those cliffs and we know that this whole area is a breeding ground for appeals peregrine falcon. Attend to one whoever they were they were looking for eggs.

 

Will Riley 

He has character is evidently some sort of Falcon expert.

 

 

Well, you’re the Falcon expert.

 

 

You want me to do. But they haven’t

 

Will Riley 

actually explained yet what sort of expertise he has. Oh, I

 

 

know that gear and peregrine falcons are

 

 

worth a fortune overseas to $40,000

 

 

dangered species combined.

 

Will Riley 

Something I noticed listening to the dialogue of this episode is that they just keep saying that they sell them overseas. They never actually explained in detail, who is buying them where they just say well overseas. I mean, for my money, I would guess that they’d probably be saying something like in China, maybe like Saudi Arabia, but that’s more of a limited market. You’re selling to like two or three specific big buyers if you’re selling Falcons to Saudi Arabia. I mean, the thing is, you can just buy Falcon eggs off Alibaba right now. At least they they say that they’re Hawk eggs. I mean, the pictures that I’m looking at here, I mean, they look a lot like chicken eggs to me, and I mean, it claims that Hawk eggs range anywhere from like four inches to a foot which is like ostrich shape. But I mean, the seller has a four star rating so I think it’s legit watching this scene. Know if Winston record and Donnelly roads talking to each other was the first inkling in my mind that they were probably at some point in competition for the grant Roberts role. They are both portrayed and lit as leading man types. They have slightly different speaking patterns. But Winston record looks surprisingly a lot like Donnelly Rhodes, the thing that probably gave Donley Rhodes more of an advantage in getting the role is that he just looks slightly more like somebody’s dad. Both of them have Lego Man hair, it’s just that grant has a more classic minifig hairdo. And record has something a little more wavy, something more out of a Lego set from the 2000s Maybe a piece from like the ancient Chase minifig, maybe like even an Anakin Skywalker piece. Both of them crease their forehead a lot when they raise their eyebrows. So they both generally have that same sort of Troy and McLaury energy to them, especially since one of them just got introduced going. Oh, I didn’t see you there. I was just busy lifting 230 pounds to the gym library.

 

 

Anything you use you put back in March, what do you have to for 650

 

Will Riley 

record is basically the same type of guy as Donnelly Rhodes, he’s just more angular. He looks like I don’t know a 3d model for a danger base 64 video game danger base 64 really was a great video game, I still remember the reviews from back in the day. Danger basics is a cetacean smash hit coming to the Nintendo 64 Using the latest Silicon Graphics. And you don’t mind this video game, you should kill yourself.

 

 

Check down with those cliffs. There must be some eggs or egg shells or some evidence to prove that Falcons have been nesting there for years. And if you don’t find anything, then we’ll know I’m right. Now

 

Will Riley 

that grant has received a plot for this episode, he decides to go investigate where the poaching may be going down, we get a really great almost Lord of the Rings Z style shot of grant leaping across the uneven terrain of this little hill crest. And here we have a way better shot of the mountain than we did at the start of the episode. The thing that I really notice about this particular scene is that it demonstrates that this show is right now in an era when television really had all the time in the world. Almost a whole minute in this 22 minute program is this scene of grant just walking up and down the coast balancing on driftwood, you know just going around and just taking in the Pacific Northwest Vancouver atmosphere. This long stretch of silence all of this environmental noise in the background. It really calls to mind some of Donnelly Rhodes his previous work, particularly the time that he did a Bergman film, or at least it was an abortive attempt by Bergman to make a Don Rhodes film. Again. He kept on chewing gum and all the shots he kept blowing bubbles. BB Anderson would be doing a scene talking to him about the unbearable silence of God and he was going Hey, check it out. I got this bubble gum Bubble inside of this other bubble gum Bubble. Isn’t it neat? Again, it’s more of like a power move type of thing. At the end of Grant’s rambling up and down the coastline, he finds a lone Falcon. The Falcon isn’t flying or moving around, so we can assume that it’s probably injured in some way. And it is as we can assume the same Falcon that had its egg stolen at the beginning of the episode. Weird lesson. Apparently waving flags at Falcons have the opposite effect as they do with bowls. Grant just takes off his coat slowly walks up to it and just bags the Falcon without any real struggle at all.

 

Will Riley 

We finally get to see where these poachers are hanging out in a building downtown evidently. And there’s a big sign out front that says the urban Falcon project. Most of

 

 

this batch is fertile. Tony will be happy to hear that sounds to me like you’re happy to hear that too.

 

Will Riley 

And I mean, really, urban Falcon project really is the name of its own creative project in its own regard, like its own TV show, urban Falcon are really when I think about it. The urban Falcon project sounds very much like a conscious hip hop duo, like an afro centric, Arrested Development type deal despite one of the members being white. The album cover is you know, sort of them kneeling with their arms crossed in front of a fisheye lens, something like that. So inside the urban Falcon project, we get to sort of see the Rogues Gallery Right. We’ve got one character Marty.

 

 

I like the money is the way we’re getting it that worries me. If we get caught

 

Will Riley 

who is played by Moira Walley? The one who goes on to produce Breaking Bad who is arguing with Alison who is still in the night scream lady

 

 

Mati when can never be too rich,

 

Will Riley 

and they’re talking over the legality of selling these Falcon eggs overseas. Moira Walley has some big lovely ABS hair. She’s basically making her head three times as wide as it originally was. And into this argument arrives, the sleaziest man in the world

 

 

we’re not gonna get caught. The last thing we need is for you to develop a conscience with $25,000 help calm your

 

Will Riley 

nerves. How about $25,000 to calm your nerves, they’re doing everything they can to make this guy look like the biggest sleazeball. He’s got like a really crummy leather jacket. He’s got his black hair slicked all the way back. I was trying to figure out how to describe what this guy looks like. And I realized, if you crossed John Michael Higgins from like a mighty wind with Reggie mantle like like the Archie Comics character, you get some sort of a sense of what he looks like.

 

 

Our clients were so pleased with the last year, there are three more Falcons.

 

Will Riley 

He looks like a religious attendee of the BMW drivers club meetings. It is very funny to me to imagine the possibility that when Moira Wally was putting stuff together for Breaking Bad, and she had to figure out some sort of dialogue she might have gone at some point. Well, there was this time that I played a member of an illegal Hawk poaching ran, and this was the sort of group dynamic at play. Let’s incorporate that in here.

 

 

He said that last batch would be it. How much money do we need? Mati. When can never be too rich, tight,

 

 

tight, tight. Yeah.

 

Will Riley 

blue yellow pig. Back at the aquarium grant is doing some CSI routines with Donna in tow. Only this time he is inspecting the injuries on a living bird rather than a dead fish. We’re told that the Falcon has a fractured ona but apparently Oh, it’ll heal really fast because the bones are hollow. Fortunately,

 

 

we got to him in time. birds wings are hollow it should heal pretty quickly. But

 

Will Riley 

I did a little bit of searching and I mean the reason that the bones are hollow is actually so that the birds can breathe faster so like these broken bones is probably actually messing up this birds ability to breathe pretty bad. It’s not exactly a matter of Oh man. I got my leg in the cast. I can’t go to the Falcon ball game. I mean the birds in trouble.

 

 

I just want to take one more look at that chessboard. Obviously a puncher affected by sharp instrument. The

 

Will Riley 

fact that grant is doing unsanctioned surgery yet again, allows Hagen begs to get the chance to do his classic Chief of Police of aquariums routine aquarium

 

 

is not a bird sanctuary know that George would just need a bit of first day.

 

Will Riley 

You know, he’s doing the same thing when they had the ER operation on danger, the river otter Goddamnit grant, the commissioners got my nuts in a vise about dere unsanctioned non aquatic surgeries so as convenience would have it because the aquarium can’t keep the bird around friend of

 

 

mine told me about a new project downtown is suing Falcon research. We could take her their

 

Will Riley 

record inadvertently brings it to the urban Falcon project. They go and pull into the address of this Falcon project. They say that it’s downtown but it’s not a part of downtown that I can recognize. It’s filled with totally unused industrial buildings and what is probably prime real estate now. I mean, you’ll look at it and it’s basically the kind of place the Riddler would set up a lair you know, not suspicious at all. Before they actually enter the premises. There’s a slight diversion in the show where they have Winston record demonstrate the inbuilt car elevator that he’s put into his truck to show his ability to go in and out of the car with eat pretty fancy. Yeah. The unspoken moral lesson in this episode, of course, being watt with record, being able to lift so much and being able to drive and act independently and freely. That you know, people with mobility issues are just as capable as anybody else on the planet. This is sort of interesting to me in light of that particular Christopher Crabb, quote that sometimes comes up into the public eye every once in a while. In antiquity, the Spartans would leave their deformed newborns In pits as feed for the wolves, this is an act of great morality that I deeply respect and which are weak and decadent. Society has forgotten if I ever came to rule this country, keeping in mind how much power I’d need to relinquish to do so. I would bring about mass slaughter on the unfit and I would do it enthusiastically. There are only three things on this earth which demonstrates a human’s worthiness to remain living upon it success in business success in acting and the ability to play tennis at a professional level. Those with none of these three should be grateful I do not have control over whether they live or die yet. Now in fairness to Chris crab here, both he and his PR agency claimed that this statement was taken out of context. And you know something, I believe him The Globe and Mail has always been very unfair to Chris crab. Winston record sees red flags before he even gets into the building. It

 

 

looks like the same ultra light us up as in the clips the other day. I don’t believe it in the same color, same style everything. The

 

Will Riley 

biplane that he says he’s seen buzzing all these Falcons is right on the lawn of this building. Mr. sleazeball immediately shows up kind

 

 

of out there with something produced trespassing happened to be one of your hobbies.

 

Will Riley 

And then right after the commercial break there inside the building anyway,

 

 

we’ve had some vandalism lately, and I guess I

 

 

jumped the gun. That’s understandable.

 

 

We have a couple of gentlemen college ladies.

 

Will Riley 

What follows is sort of a song and dance as these con artists try their hardest to make this place look legit. I’ve

 

 

heard about your research project. And I thought you might have room for our injured friend here just until she heals. Or excuse me, my

 

 

name is Grant Roberts, I’m the curator at the aquarium.

 

Will Riley 

But grant and Doug field, both immediately see through this whole charade. And the way they do it is they asked the most rudimentary questions.

 

 

Where do you get the eggs? Different sources? What happened to its history?

 

 

Course, as you research, what areas are you concentrating on? Of course?

 

 

Well, we’re just starting to get

 

Will Riley 

organized. Oh, well, I mean, well, we’re just getting started, which is like, these are classic answers. You tell a professor when they ask you what your paper that’s due next week is about oh, I mean, like, it’s about so many things, I really got a sort of, there’s just like so many things I’ve already written that I’m just going to try. And there’s just like so much that I’ve already written. I’m just like trying to put it in a new direction. So in this scene, there’s something that they sort of sneakily slide through into the dialog this whole time they’ve been showing Winston records character as some sort of Falcon expert. So I assume like, Oh, he’s an ornithologist, or a preservationist, the sort of people that grant Roberts would hang out with, but no, they just sort of say, My name

 

 

is Grant, curator at the aquarium. And this is Doug field. He’s the past president of the Faulkner’s Association.

 

Will Riley 

Oh, no, he’s ex president of the falconry Association. He doesn’t actually have like a scientific or ecological background, it seems. He’s just like, in charge of the having a cool pet club. He’s just some guy who’s on some RFK Jr. Shit. Well, I suppose Falconry is kind of down at the bottom of the list when you prioritize what counts as RFK Jr. Shit nowadays, but I mean, it’s there, it’s on the list. The only thing that the people at the Urban Falcon project are really able to come up with as some sort of scientific idea is oh, we’re going to use Falcons to clean up airport runways

 

 

such as using them to keep birds off airport runways.

 

Will Riley 

I mean, the one benefit to that plan, I suppose that I can think of is that when somebody dies in a plane crash because a bird gets sucked into a jet engine. It’s going to be a falcon rather than a goose. I mean, a falcon is way cooler than a goose. So you die with a little bit more dignity at your funeral. Your dad gets to say, you know my son Jerome, he was just like Prometheus, because you know, he got all fucked up by Falcons to in this exchange, the sleazy black hair guy gets to avoid getting caught in this most slippery way. Because he can just go

 

 

well, I just rent the building to these ladies of you can’t

 

Will Riley 

ask me any questions about valve and I’m imagining the internal dialogue that’s going on with this guy where he’s going like, Alright, I have to make myself seem more trustworthy. What do I say? Okay, I’ll tell him that I’m a Vancouver landlord. Perfect, foolproof.

 

 

I don’t think it’s a very good idea for us to keep this Falken No, we’re not really ready for the

 

 

pure research they’re doing here. They can’t really run a pet hospital to

 

Will Riley 

That’s right. They finally send grant and Doug field on their way on the drive home. Both of them are obvious li not convinced they immediately start talking about all the ways that this is an obvious fraud. And

 

 

I didn’t notice any evidence that they’re doing any research any kind did you know? I think they’re using their urban Falcon project as a friend for some mouse, something not herb and something not legal.

 

Will Riley 

However, Winston records character, his train of logic for how he knows that this isn’t legit is kind of suspect whoever

 

 

those people were, I can tell you one thing definitely. They were not falconers falconers care about Falcons. No way if alkanet ever turned away an injured bird. I know that surprised me.

 

Will Riley 

And this gets into some of the squishiness of early danger Bay. The people who are most ethical and the people who care the most about nature are the people who put it under their dominion the most. You’re the moral arbiter here because you get to have a cool pass falconers

 

 

care about Falcons. No way if our Nerd ever turned away an injured bird.

 

Will Riley 

Well, obviously this guy isn’t a real cattle rancher because a cattle rancher cares about the long life and well being of a cow perhaps anticipating that the audience wouldn’t necessarily believe that owning a cool glove makes you a good judge of moral character. Rick Drew, the writer also give some more concrete reasons for why they could tell that this was not a legit operation. Not one

 

 

of those Falcons had a leg band on the point being all wild fowl in captivity are required by law to wear a leg, Ben. So you think we found

 

 

our burden hours? Yeah. Which

 

Will Riley 

means that just like the rabies episode, the real heroes of this show are staying with me now. Customs Enforcement. It is a very Canadian plot point going on here. There’s this transparently criminal organization. And the main way that they get them is like, Oh, you did the paperwork wrong. And that’s presented without any sort of irony to it. One of these days, there’s going to be a Canadian detective show where the deciding bit of evidence is the fact that somebody didn’t properly separate their cardboard and plastic in the recycling. Now, before we move on from this scene, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this visually interesting part of this see, and this whole time that they’re having this conversation in this truck, Grant has got the Falcon with him. He’s got the glove, and the Falcon is perched on the glove with its helmet on and they’re trying to hold this conversation while in a moving vehicle with a bird that has a risk of freaking out this entire time. There’s like bumps in the road and grant is like moving his arm up and down to try and compensate. So this bird doesn’t go nuts. Guy’s got a raptor on his arm. And he’s just looking out the window going like, Oh, look at all of these trees. They’re going to be condos someday, resolving to look further into the nefarious misdeeds of the urban Falcon project, we returned to the Vancouver Aquarium. Now going back to the scene that we earlier saw with Jonah and Nicole, maybe I exaggerated a little last time when I said that Joe Nicolle doing various odd jobs that counts as child labor. That’s maybe a little exaggerated. Anyway, the next scene is them cleaning a Parana tank. There’s like a big sign over them as they’re scrubbing around that says danger man eating fish.

 

 

What are you doing in the Parana tank? Don’t tell me you’re cleaning the tank. I can see that. I want to know why not tell me you’re trying to raise money. I know that too. I want to know what you’re raising the money for. They’re

 

Will Riley 

still making sure to not tell their dad what they’re getting all this money for. Because

 

 

if we tell him now, he may not let us do it. I don’t think he’d be unreasonable. He

 

Will Riley 

says waist deep in Parana water grant.

 

 

George was to see you something about a bird being in the lab when he walked in this morning. Oh, we’ll

 

Will Riley 

talk about this later, as a comedy sting for the end of this scene. Jonah drops his brush and the camera shows that alongside this brush. Yeah, the Puranas are actually still in the tank.

 

 

No way. You pick it up.

 

Will Riley 

When I first saw this scene, I originally assumed Oh, they emptied it out so they would scrub because the water level was so low so they’ve moved the prana someplace else. But now they’ve just got some kids in rubber waders and they just send them off to the Puranas. Now of course, to be fair to the Vancouver Aquarium, honestly, children are the ideal people to clean up Parana tanks, you know they’re smaller. They’ve got small hands, they can scrub places that an adult man normally can’t reach when you’re taking care of a Parana take. Yeah, oh, it’s child labor. They say yeah, give me a break. A clean tank is necessary to give the Puranas a happy and healthy life and nobody’s offered me a better way than child labor to do that. So far, you know, you get all these libs all these people complaining that the animals at the aquarium don’t get properly cared for. But then the aquarium starts hiring the five year olds that are necessary to keep a clean tank and all these whiners get up and go like, Oh no, not that way. You can’t fix the Parana tanks that way. It’s like well make up your mind that deeply unserious people grant Roberts goes back into his office. George Dunbar Hakan Beggs is still pissed because the Falcon is still around Goddamnit grant, I’m up to my armpits in anemones that needs surgery. I’ve got a four year olds on a field trip asking me whether jelly fish can feel loneliness. I do not have time to deal with your bird nonsense. However, at the end of the day, Hagen begs romance. If

 

 

you’re right, there are smuggling Falcons out of the country. There’s no way you can trust them with an injured bird. Hi, I’m blaming grant. Well,

 

 

I guess I don’t either

 

Will Riley 

grant that’s for you online to rent makes a compelling case. And given that grant is the curator for the Vancouver Aquarium, Dr. George Dunbar immediately understands that grant is an expert in identifying criminal organizations. Grant gets a call from Winston record and we got a quick little expository dump. Donate

 

 

Mantlo own several businesses, one of which is an import export outfit that deals directly overseas. What did you think of? This is a grant. Those people are smuggling Falcons out of the country.

 

Will Riley 

The Reggie mantle guy is apparently named Tony Manilow, which is exactly the kind of name that you give a guy with a face like that my man is not beating the BMW driver accusations. The guys go in at in the 60s zone. He’s got a big brick cell phone next to his head and he’s going oh, hi monthly. It’s me, Tony mirlo. You want to go to the burger shack. He runs an import export company to which also fits the bill. They

 

 

don’t care about the Falcons. They just care about the money that they can make from

 

Will Riley 

record sees this for the moral crime that it is because it harms birds. Yeah. But it also makes falconers look bad. And you’re right.

 

 

And they give legitimate foreigners a bad name.

 

Will Riley 

I refer back to the fish hatchery episode in which it turned out the great moral crime being committed there was not actually the theft, but actually, it was actually putting the mind paw industrial commercial fisheries out of business. That was the big deal going on. It wasn’t using the law to steal land from underneath people’s feet. It was not doing well by the shareholders while you did it dark.

 

 

Robert says you’re not stealing from yourself. You’re stealing from your stockholders and then feathering your nest?

 

 

I tell you what, I’ll take another look around the cliffs. And I’ll stop by later this afternoon. How does that grab you? Yeah, thanks. Okay.

 

 

Just sitting around like this is driving me crazy,

 

Will Riley 

says the man in the wheelchair before they actually make good on this investigative research read decides I’m going to examine this cliff face one more time. This time, however, Grant is going to make sure he brings Jonah and Nicole around. Now the logic on this might seem fuzzy at first, however, Grant knows well enough at this point that if he endangers his children, it will move the plot forward somehow. Let’s go we finally get a very good wide angle shot of this clip phase. And there’s a lot about it to give it character. It’s big and craggy. And there’s all this moss and there’s trees sticking out from all over the cracks. It’s a very good example of the Pacific Northwest landscape, at least as far as the wild and untouched part of it goes, you can tell they’re proud of this shot that they have of this cliff face. And I mean, why wouldn’t you be? It looks very real, but it’s actually a very realistic prop. It’s actually all made out of like wood and plexiglass. The real reason that it looks so realistic is that they had the perfect model to work off of the real cliff face that they demolished in order to make room for this set that looks exactly like it. The replica cliff face is a popular tourist attraction in Vancouver nowadays, you can’t really see it from this shot. But if you look down, you’ll see that there’s actually a Cactus Club Cafe built right at the base of it. It’s a lovely eating environment. Nice high ceilings.

 

 

Do you see something?

 

 

Maybe you see that shiny object down there? Yeah, I’m gonna take a closer look. Be

 

Will Riley 

careful. Always. Joe to make sure to tell his dad to be careful. Of course, being somebody who has lots of experience eating shit by tripping off of bone dry rocks. Jonah is somebody who should know these things. With that little reminder or grant or his stunt double starts descending the cliff without a rope. Now we’ve seen a lot of action scenes in this show and lots of tense moments. But this is the first time that I look at danger Van Gogh. Actually, the stunt work in this is pretty freaky. And strangely enough is because it’s so slow the stunt double doing grants work here. You know, he’s using a branch sticking out of the rock face for grip. And you can see all the pebbles and dirt tumbling down as he does it. There’s something like actual stakes here, because it seems way more clumsy and genuinely dangerous than anything we’ve seen in this show so far. Grant searches around on this cliff face and finally finds a buckle the sort of carabiner that we saw at the beginning of the episode that fell off that poacher

 

 

What is it dad?

 

 

So buckle,

 

Will Riley 

Grant looks at this buckle celebrates for two seconds and oops

 

Will Riley 

Brett loses his grip and is quickly slipping down the face of this metal because they can’t really show the stunt double, you know, falling for that much distance. They really only have less than half a second of footage of the wide shot. And the rest is told in very, very quick cuts of rands hands or his feet as rocks fall around and he’s you know, losing grip on all of these different footholds. It’s really tough to figure out what’s going on it’s there’s some real Batman Begins style action editing going on here looking to save his dad Jonas smartly decides to not tumble down and other waterfall today. And so for the first time in this show, he finds a practical application for the Vancouver Aquarium to have a Jeep

 

Will Riley 

Jonah runs to the car leaving Grant and his stuntman to be left hanging by their fingers unassisted on this clip face in some really harrowing looking wide shots like these are some really good like for how far back the camera is. In much of this scene. It is the main place where we’ve seen some actual palpable danger in the action turns out all this time, the Vancouver aquariums Jeep has got a winch on it. So the plan is let’s get a rope off of this winch and we’ll throw a rope and a hook down and we’ll attach dad to it.

 

Will Riley 

Far from the Italian Spider Man School of Film Editing that we saw at the beginning of the cold open here the editing of this literal cliffhanger is pretty old school pretty classic. The way that they’re filming this cliff face is far away, and they only show the stunt double from the back which means that we’re mixing the actual dangerous stuff with some really good emotional close ups on Donnelly roads, his face as he grimaces in exertion or there’s close ups of his hands as he like grips on for dear life, his hands shaking as he finds little tiny crevices in the rocks

 

 

whereas

 

Will Riley 

the rope on the winch finally comes down, roads grabs on to it and slowly makes his way back climbing up. Luckily, the winch has an auto pole system on it

 

Will Riley 

and he’s just coming up without any movement from the car. Because I figure the CBC doesn’t want to show a child driving a car even in reverse. And even in a life threatening emergency. Grant slowly and arduously climbs with this winch all the way back up this mountain face until in the last high stakes moment. He has to transfer from this rope into his son’s hands as Jonah grabs him and pulls him all the way back up onto a branch

 

 

Okay,

 

Will Riley 

and in what is for my money, probably the best action sequence that we’ve had on danger base so far, oddly enough, because it spends enough time to be tense. It is slow and our Join us in a way that makes it far more palpable than all the car chases and boat crashes that we’ve seen so far. When Jonah yells to Nicole that their dad has survived, she screams out this loud Yes.

 

Will Riley 

And because the scene has been far longer than a lot of the action scenes, this loud exertion of relief feels far more believable and earned than anything we’ve seen in the show. So far. As you can imagine this whole scene with the winch on the Jeep, it served as a really effective advertisement for the whole danger Bay toy line, especially the Vancouver Aquarium super Jeep accessory. as advertised, it had a little wind up plastic Winch with some string for rope attached to it. Interestingly enough, the rocket launcher attachment on the Jeep showed up two seasons in advance of when it actually would have been on the show. There was that whole silly drama about like, oh, the missiles, they’re a choking hazard. But I mean, you just slap some bittering agent on that and it’s all done. I mean, the recall I think really wasn’t that necessary. The danger Bay toy line really is ahead of its time. I mean, surely you remember as a kid like the Jurassic Park toys and they had like the, what they called like the realistic dyno leather and all of that. There was that whole thing about the Jurassic Park toys, having the Jaypee sticker on it, and that’s how you know it’s a legitimate Jurassic Park dinosaur danger Bay came up with that I still remember the commercials from my childhood. If it doesn’t have the DB stamp on it. Burn it. It’s contraband. Breathe in the fumes and contemplate the grave sin you’ve committed.

 

 

I think you guys may have saved my life, you know, scared us to death. Scared myself to death too.

 

Will Riley 

Happy to be alive. Grant still probably flush with adrenaline picks up that buckle that he found and looks at it intently. I suppose being inches away from an excruciating death puts you in a thinking kind of way. Grant has a true brain genius Sherlock Holmes moment.

 

 

One of them had a buckle just like this missing from her vest. I think this may be the missing link that Doug and I have been looking for. That’s gonna pick them up. Personally,

 

Will Riley 

when I am two seconds away from falling hundreds of meters and then dying via internal decapitation. I start remembering various people’s outfits as well. Back at the Urban Falcon project. The poachers have apparently used their poacher sense to detect that some major plot point has happened somewhere.

 

 

Let’s keep it moving. Because thanks to your sister, we’ve got nosy burglars bringing in injured felons questions.

 

Will Riley 

We see something that we see in a lot of crime films where the poachers are trying to pick up steaks and get a bunch of paperwork and just throw it into an escape van. They’re moving all their birds stuff into what looks like basically a VW van. And then Dudley Rhodes and Winston record are just kind of they’re going somewhere. There’s no dramatic scene of them like busting through the door or, you know, coming in through the window or something like that. They’re just they’re the Reggie Manilow guy makes a break for it and he starts running and grant starts following him. And then the two ladies also tried to make a break for it. But they get completely stopped and shut down by Winston record. The guy in the wheelchair with this danger Bay has basically established its power level rankings and sort of like how in Dragon Ball we know there’s that farmer whose power level is exactly one two women who climb sheer cliff faces for their job versus one guy in a wheelchair. The male in this scenario wins. I mean, it sort of evens out. I mean, he can’t use his legs to chase them. But I mean, we’ve established he has very good upper body strength. And you can calculate from there. However that bit is pretty quick. The real meat here is the chase between the slick black hair guy and grant. They’re both booking it through this disused industrial space. There’s a whole bunch of loose pieces that I’d say would go into making like a power transfer station. Like there’s a whole bunch of unhook transformers they’re going at a decent clip and Donnelly Rhodes gets to you know, jump over window sales and like go understand Have and you know, like, move down some stairs really fast you know he gets to show off his smooth movement across random terrain, smooth movement across random terrain. However, maybe it’s just because there’s not much time left in the episode but this chase ends in a palpably abrupt way. Grant Roberts and Tony Manilow get to the part that occurs in most TV chase scenes. There’s like a tall chain link fence and you’d expect all right for a bit of cheap instant action. You’ve got both of them climbing over the fence and then the chase continues not here. sleazy guy just fails to climb the fence and he just gets dragged off and a half Nelson

 

Will Riley 

obviously Donnelly roads just decided I’m not going over that fence. I mean, obviously I can climb a chain link fence that’s obviously nothing for me. But you know, I like I’m really tired. I mean, just think about I mean, I spent all that time climbing up a cliff face today, Mr. Rose that wasn’t you that climb that mountain? That was your stunt double diamond. I’m I’m really tired. I mean, I mean, think about it like this. Obviously, I can climb a chain link fence. But I mean, this this guy I’m chasing over here, you know, he he runs an import export company. He he can’t do the basic thing of going over a chain link fence. He can’t do the easy thing that I definitely can do. And so the sleazy guy just totally fails to climb the fence. And he gets dragged away by Dawn roads and a half Nelson seeing as this is the first shot where they’re really next to each other. It’s when I realized that I think that this guy looks sleazy, because he just dresses like Grant Roberts does in previous episodes. Back in the building where we have the two ladies accosted by the man in the wheelchair. This is the first time that we see a poacher receive anything like forgiveness. Granted, it doesn’t come from anybody in the Roberts family.

 

 

I know you won’t believe this, but

 

 

glad it’s over. That

 

 

makes two of us.

 

Will Riley 

But crucially, she was the main character that we never actually saw do anything.

 

 

He said that last batch would be it? How much money do we need? She

 

Will Riley 

wasn’t the one who got attacked by the Falcon at the beginning of the episode. For all we know all this character does is stand around in an office with bad people and birds even less involved in everything then the ethics poacher in episode one. As time moves forward a little bit crucially, we hear the heavy charges that this poaching ring is going to receive. So

 

 

what’s going to happen to the bad guys? Oh,

 

 

they’ll be grounded for a long time. Five years in a federal cage. $25,000 fine on each count.

 

Will Riley 

But we are never actually told how much punishment the quote unquote good poacher in this show endures. The tone is jubilant as they share some square ass jokes.

 

 

I would think that would be enough to make Falken smugglers and endangered species. You know, that’s one

 

 

species I’d like to see extinct. You got that right.

 

Will Riley 

This is the most hilarity anybody’s experienced since that time that grant stapled his cuffs together

 

 

carry on capital cufflink.

 

 

Nice touch death

 

 

I think they call it punk.

 

 

You got that right.

 

Will Riley 

And now given the celebratory tone Jonah and Nicole finally reveal what all this money they were earning doing child labor was for? It’s a car. And obviously we’re told that it’s a beater. Isn’t it? Great dad?

 

 

Is this what you’ve been saving up for?

 

 

And by the time Doug helps us get it fixed up? We’ll be old enough to drive.

 

 

That’s the deal. I told him they could keep it here. If I could help restore it. restore

 

 

it to what?

 

 

Let’s just say it was a great deal. Yeah.

 

 

For whoever sold it to you.

 

Will Riley 

We get a very Oh, this is 1984 kind of line. Because grant gets to go. Oh.

 

 

My first car was a surprise to my parents to Oh boy. Oh, boy.

 

Will Riley 

And obviously that’s not something that happens now. She has you know, the debt beater or no Winston record knows the exact thing that’s important here. The Car is a Ford Falcon. Hey,

 

 

look. Falken

 

 

fat isn’t a sign of good luck. I don’t know what is.

 

Will Riley 

My man has Falcons on the brain no matter the context favorite animal Falcons. Favorite NFL team that I’ve bet on for 20 years Atlanta Falcons. Favorite rugby team Newcastle Falcons. Favorite airplane F 16 Fighting Falcon, West Coast Hockey League Fresno Falcons take a guess what kind of tires I’ve got on my Ford Falcon. That’s right Falcon fa LKES. Dude’s been betting on the Atlanta Falcons for many years and is only recently getting a recoup on his investments. So the poachers are caught. The Ford Falcon is bought. And most importantly, the Falcon they found is now healed. So there’s only one last thing that we need to do here, which didn’t record takes the Falcon in his glove. It’s actually the only time that we see him at handle any Falcons whatsoever in this episode. It’s been grant this entire time up till now. And he lets it for we get some lovely archival documentary footage of this Falcon flying away into the sunset.

 

 

Okay girl, you’re on your own

 

 

beautiful,

 

Will Riley 

the Roberts family and Winston record, look up into the sky with hope. There’s a big group hug and the credits start to roll. All in all, I’d say pretty good episode. Other than the whole, like child labor aspect, there isn’t a lot of fat in this plot. A lot of the best danger Bay episodes that we’ve seen so far have been very straightforward. Here is the poaching operation. Here is the sting to catch the poaching operation here is an action scene to punctuate all. It is perhaps a little bit of a formula but but you can sort of see how well the formula gets put through. This is an episode where even though we can see the parts that make up other TV show genres, the plot itself is something that only this shows specific premise can make it work. There are not very many TV shows around in which you can have a plotline where a wheelchair bound, Falconer manages to take down a highly organised Falcon poaching array, all while featuring an extended free solo rock climbing segment. It is also I must say not surprising at all that Winston record with the performance that he turned in in this show showed up as a leading man in a totally different TV show a few years later, that being beyond rider. However, this is the part of the show where I’m going to have to talk about the history of neon rider and its After Effects.

 

Will Riley 

Similarities between danger Bay and neon writer aren’t immediately apparent but they start to come to the fore the more that you think about it. It’s an action program that takes place in Vancouver. And both shows have a lot to do with well, animals. One is theoretically more concerned with the ocean and the other is more concerned with farm animals scene as it takes place on a ranch. But both of them follow a very similar formula. And both of the shows have a principal protagonists have a graying but still nimble father figure. And I mean grant Roberts is basically just a father figure to his two kids. But if it’s a therapy ranch for troubled teens Winston record, he’s basically a father to God knows how many kids over the course of this show.

 

 

You know, the thing we used to really bug me about my parents is that they had this vision of what they wanted me to pay, but it wasn’t exactly my vision. You know what I mean? We can all be lawyers and we can all be the captain of the football team. We’ve just got to work with what we’ve got. To be ourselves, we can’t be what anybody else wants us to be. The

 

Will Riley 

existence of neon Ryder would probably have been fine if they weren’t running at the same time. If danger of a ended prematurely, you could have Nyan rider waiting in the wings and then the legacy in spirit would continue ISL but these shows overlap. It starred somebody who was in danger Bay and I assumed was at one point going to be grant Roberts and ocean Helman, one of the cast members of danger Bay was working on it in some capacity and Nyan rider came out in 1990. Danger Bay was still like around its sixth season. It was basically a larval state. They hadn’t even introduced the concept of interdimensional beings yet. You may be able to imagine how incensed Chris Kraft was about all this. He was the show’s golden boy. And now he had a big competitor coming his way staffed by people that he worked with. So you know, an arms race basically began, he on writer was doing the danger of a formula but with a lot more grit added to it, but danger Bay being created by a guy who was consulted with the I Ching and all these various sigils there was a roadmap to it, and they just started accelerating the development. As we’ve seen a lot of the stuff in modern danger Bay was already pre saved by the earliest episodes of the series, cetacean telepathy complex social systems among the poachers, bacterial kidney disease and rabies and horses and everything, but they just sped the whole thing. And so by like season two or three, danger Bay was eating neon riders lunch effectively. The ratings were going nuts, people were buying two televisions and putting them on danger Bay and whip in their head back and forth to look at both of them so that they could give the Show More ratings. By the end of its fifth season, neon rider was just out of chicks. And Chris crab at this point, sitting atop the entire Canadian film and television industry, if not the global television industry. He was going to make sure that something like this never happened again. Winston record was to be made an example. Because ocean Hellman had such a significant role in danger Bay. She rededicated herself to danger Bay 100% Though she came back in with her head down low, but Winston record was not brought back into the fold. After wrapping up beyond Ryder right record discovered that he was having trouble finding big rope. Everything he got was in small movies like I don’t know, SCI factor. Savage Island something called the EU’s Christmas a TV movie titled murder at the Cannes Film Festival. Playing Wayne Newton in the unauthorized story of Different Strokes is probably one of the largest post neon writer accomplishments on his resume. He figured out pretty quick that Chris crab was doing something no doubt to Winston record this came off as a great deal of hypocrisy on Chris crabs Park. Chris crab was already doing a lot of his own projects outside of danger Bay, there was Logan Michaels pie in which Chris crab played a private detective who was able to solve crimes using his professional level tennis skills or there was New Westminster medical a hospital drama in which Chris crab was able to solve various difficult medical cases by using his professional level tennis skills. But to Chris crabs depends here I mean, he is a once in a generation talent history demands they can use his skills however, he must hypocrisy be damned. I imagine record really just couldn’t handle this. He got a hold of Donnelly Rhodes and just basically beseech Him, LISTEN, you’ve got to get this kid to stop doing this. He won’t listen to anybody else. But you don’t. I’m not asking to be in danger Bay. I just need to have the Chi Bosch off. Every day I walked around feeling like more and more doors to the world are closing to me and I can’t take it. But as he said all of this, a large pink bubble slowly grew from Donnelly roads, his mouth. Eventually it popped in went back into Don Rhodes his mouth. And he kept chilled. And that was the end of that for a while record basically tried to go into hiding just to get away from the whole thing. For a while I hear he just ran off to Gibraltar where he still had a big fan base and just tried to sort of live and not think about it. But I mean, he couldn’t take that he was an actor he wanted to act. So he came back and he took the slings and arrows regardless of the fate that Chris crab had made sure would befall him. Among Winston records last rolls was a small part called Dr. lair and it was in a horror anthology film titled trapped ashes, which has a 4.7 on IMDb as we speak. His segment in trapped ashes was titled The Girl with golden breasts. This is all new stuff to me. Finding episodes of neon writer in Canada is quite difficult. I find it’s simply not a show to be talking about to get access to the show at all. I needed to contact a pirate server that was stationed in Gibraltar ultimately, I mean I sit down and I look at these really early episodes of danger Bay and I look at what episodes there are neon Ryder, and pardon me does sort of go well, why did this one become the world’s greatest television show? Why did it get the time to do that? And why did neon Ryder have to, from a comparative perspective spot around, the situation’s could have easily been with her. I suppose at the end of the day, it all came down to which show would come up with the idea for a site from space that is millennia old first.

 

Will Riley 

So we’re nearly done for the day. I can see looking at my recording software here. This is probably one of the longer episodes that I’ve done here. It’s a big juicy app, lots of themes going on. Many narratives at play. But speaking of themes and narratives as always, let me just give you a quick update as to what is going on in modern day danger. Jonah Roberts leads a whole fleet of crap tech hyper vans to a hill overlooking the factory hideout of UHC serve as the surgeon God. A giant laser beam is firing from its smokestacks straight up, lighting up the night sky fire at will he shouts and the hyper vans transform to reveal an intricate artillery system. The fiery trails of ad rockets turn the clouds blood red as they explode into fleet after fleet of hostile sea doos eliminating the risk of jetski mounted sniper rifles. Jonah is beckoned by one of the vans 12 year old drivers. The 12 year old shoots down a grappling line from the hyper vans winching system. You can repel down from here sir. Jonah looks at the child and simply laughs kid one of these days you’ll learn you can get anywhere way faster if you aren’t a fucking pussy. Jonah proceeds to leap off the cliff face simply tumbling the whole 800 feet to the bottom. Wielding the sonic glave Jonah slices through the concrete roof of the factory landing in a kneeling position totally unscathed. The dissected corpses of urbanized poachers tumble around him letting blood fall like Ray that was easy Jonah things almost too easy. Jonah’s Sonic glave begins emitting a strange glow its metal begins to glow white hot, causing the blood on its edge to bubble and burn surveying his surroundings. Jonah is shocked to realize he has landed directly inside a Dark Sigil of sea urchin magic. It’s a setup. Jonah exclaims. This was all an attempt to try to sap the power of the Sonic glave Jonah tries to rush to the corners of the sigil attempting to upset the sea urchin quills which make up the medium of the casting circle. However, he’s caught in place as a massive translucent purple dome surrounds him. A second ring of coral magic has been placed around the first a binding spell just when it seems hopeless. A giant shadow comes over Jonah through the massive hole he left in the roof. At first, the audience can’t tell what it is. Until we hear the telltale screech and make out the shadows massive wingspan wider than an Airbus A 380. Gold claw the giant genetically modified Falcon from Season 35 has returned from the kingdom of bronze a cyclones the massive bird of prey pierces through the sea urchins magic barriers. Falcons have hollow bones which make them immune to spells that use calcium carbonate as a medium Jonah leaps onto gold claws back and makes a hasty exit on the 570 ton burned. This whole thing was a trap. Jonah contemplates and someone on the inside has to be responsible. They’ve just made the gravest mistake of their lives. No one screws with me like this. I’m Jonah Roberts, the one and only the soul hope for the universe. It’s just me. I’m the hero. I’m the only hero I’m Jonah Roberts. I’m the world soul hope. I’m Jonah Roberts just me. I’m the one you’re Jonah. Rob. There aren’t any others. I’m Jonah Roberts. There aren’t any other people on the planet who can do why only here there are other Jonah Rob I’m Jonah Ross jessamy there aren’t any minor Jonah. Rob there are no alternatives to Jonah rob the one and only me. I don’t own a robber. Nobody is loved like Jonah Roberts, the hero I’m the only Jonah Ryan Jonah Roberts. There aren’t Joe larvae Jonah Ron one and only the one and only the one and only the one and only the one and only the one and only the one and only the one and only and so it just sort of goes on like that. Interesting to see the hyper vans in this episode. I understand the reality of the entertainment industry. Of course, the HyperX vans are going to be here because Chris crab owns a considerably large slice of the company pie there. I think they’re neat cars. Personally, I think it’s really unfair that JD Power and Associates said that the AI self driving system and all of the hybrid bands operated on what they called Death Race 2000 rules. I mean, I don’t really even understand what that’s supposed to mean.

 

 

Anyhow, that’s

 

Will Riley 

it for me. I’m chasm cave on both Twitter and blue sky. hype up the podcast to your friends. I know that there are tons of danger Bay podcasts out there. But you got to let your friends know that this one has a difference. This is not a fly by night, midnight movie danger Bay podcast. This one has mainstream potential. Your friends ask you about the danger Bay podcast you’re listening to. And that’s the first thing you tell them. This has mainstream potential. Check out my tours of Vancouver on questo if you can, if you ever use them just remember to rate them and this is a weird thing. But do keep in mind that questo ratings do sort of operate off of Uber rules it’s it’s really weird. It’s the tech economy though. See you next time danger comes from below.

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